A simple expression of gratitude. The week had been a little rough. Nothing too crazy, just my heart being pulled in multiple directions and a desire to honor the Lord in what I was giving my attention, energy, and thoughts to. The unsuccessful wrestling. The negative emotions of anger, frustration, and confusion were winning. I had spent the day before sorting a few things out and was still left with a few distractions in my mind. I dropped my boy off at practice and headed to the park for a run. In my mind, I planned to beat my 40 minutes 3 mile pace (yes that’s right, 40 minutes…don't judge haha) and listen to worship music from a new group I’d discovered the day before thanks to a friend. I put my AirPods in and started down the park path. The song shared the day before came on a few minutes into my run and speaks so beautifully into my thoughts and emotions. (I Remind Myself) I was praising the Lord, jogging, and my mind was suddenly interrupted by the automatic audible reading of a text that wasn’t even addressed to me. I told my AirPods to stop, the music started playing again. The reading of the name the message was intended for was a definite distraction and the source of some of the negative emotions I’d been feeling. "Are you serious right now?" So I started singing, out-loud 😅, the words from the song playing while running at the park. I didn’t cross anyone else’s path 🤣, and spent the next few minutes running, singing, and feeling/believing the words I was singing. 

The song changed to another one I hadn’t heard before. The lyrics in what was next were beautiful. I noticed a field/patch of flowers planted a distance off the path. I'd already passed them once but this time listening to “Make Space” I felt the Lord drawing me over to the flowers. The sky was mixed with rainclouds and sunshine and I had honestly hoped for a rainbow. I LOVE rainbows. I also noticed a little church steeple. To go over to the flowers, which were some distance off the path up a grassy hill, I’d have to throw my less than 40 minute pace out the window. I debated. I had a goal. I wouldn’t make it if I detoured. The lyrics got to me. I chose the flowers, church, steeple, hopes of a rainbow, and where I felt the Lord was leading. There was no rainbow, but a peace as I listened to the lyrics, the lyrics from the previous song still in my heart too. He will "grow a garden"…again, so much gratitude in my heart. I reset the new song. A peace that passes understanding the Bible talks about. (Phil 4:4-9) It doesn’t always last. That isn’t the Lord’s fault. I, like Peter, find myself focusing on the waves and storms at times, instead of keeping my eyes on Jesus. (Matt 14:22-33) I’ve never regretted the moments where I intentionally “make space”. And my prayer is even in the failed attempts to walk with Jesus, the end result will still be Matt 14:33.

I have people in my life, also on my heart and mind, who I'm not sure claim Jesus as their Lord and savior. I love them dearly. Genuinely good, honorable, successful, self made, beautiful people that are so much fun to be around. But how do you show anyone who seems to have it all together there is so much more to be found in a relationship with Jesus? I don't have an answer for that. It's almost easier as single mom who desperately needs Him. I KNOW I can't do it alone. I KNOW He's been faithful. I've witnessed it. Or even those who sit inside a church…self sufficient, have it all together, check all the right boxes and have confidence in that, but have never experienced the “make space” moments? I don’t have an answer for that either. I used to one of those. There was a night, in my 40s where I intentionally surrendered my heart to Jesus and I know my heart and mind were open to more that night. The Lord loved me before that moment and I was a believer before that moment but since then I’ve experienced more. There aren’t words to explain it. I don’t walk in perfection by any means. I mess it up all the time but I do love and have a personal relationship with Jesus. It is something I can talk about from personal experience although I don't have even close to all the answers or always understand. I do know the creator of the universe loves me. Like really loves me. He is alive and active in my life and the life of my family. He’s alive and active in yours too. Spend time with Him. Make the space. Let Him have His way. Trust Him. 

I left the park, not making my run/walk goal or seeing a rainbow but leaving with so much more peace than when I started. I picked up my son, made pizza, and we started watching the World Cup. I noticed the sky outside the living room windows. The clouds were dark on one side, the sun on the other. I went outside still hopeful for a rainbow. It wasn’t there but I stood watching the clouds fly by thanking the Lord and having so much gratitude in my heart. As a few dark clouds passed I literally watched a bow form behind them. I noticed it was forming over my lilies I had taken a photo of the day before. It didn’t last long but most definitely long enough to make my heart smile. The God who sees…

So incredibly thankful for the God who sees. Who is preparing a place for us that is not of this world. Who loves each of us so much. Spend intentional time with Him. Ask Him your questions. Seek Him…”be still and know”. (Psalm 46) May the "peace that passes all understanding guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." (Phil 4:7)

* I was rereading through all of this before posting. I had "Space" playing in the background where I had looked it up to copy the link. I had also debated linking Psalm 46:10 but then read the entire thing and decided to link all of 46. What started playing next was this...So good. Click the link. I've added the two songs in this post to the bottom again as well. Take time to listen. Be encouraged today!!! He loves you!!!!

I Remind Myself

Space